For Lovers Only—Natalie Wood & Robert Wagner
So you think you’re in love! You’re starry-eyed, you’re walking on air, and the whole world has taken on a rosy glow. It’s a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But wait a minute. Better wipe that stardust out of your eyes and come down to earth—at least, long enough to take the test on the opposite page. Probably you’ve been asking yourself: Is this It? Is this the kind of love that lasts a lifetime? This test, based on extensive study by psychologists and marriage counselors, can give you a good idea of your chances of married bliss. It can help you find the answers to three very important questions: Is my love real, or merely infatuation? Would it be wise to marry now? Should I wait a while?
Two young people who, no doubt, have pondered these very questions are Natalie Wood and Bob Wagner. And a lot of people who have watched their breathless romance blossom are pondering them, too. Both Natalie and Bob have had serious “crushes” before. Is this the real thing? And what chance would their marriage have of being a lasting success? So let’s take Natalie and Bob as a case in point, analyzing what is known about them and their romance in the light of the test. It should prove interesting.
There’s no doubt whatever that Natalie and Bob are really in love! Not only do they say so, but the test bears it out, overwhelmingly. They admire each other in every way. They’re supremely happy when they’re together. They have a wealth of common interests, and like each others’ friends. They find no faults in each other. Their many friends and business acquaintances heartily approve.
Quarrels they’ve had—real blow-offs. Once, Nat stormed out of a night club after an argument with Bob, and walked for blocks until she found a cab to take her home. But she and Bob would be surprised at the experts’ opinion about this. Take a look at the answer to Question 17.
Of course, they like each other’s looks! Who wouldn’t? However, more important, each likes the way the other talks, acts and thinks, and they share the same high ideals. Most of all, both are dead serious about becoming fine artists in their work. And although Bob is somewhat more the diplomat than Natalie, both have the same outspoken honesty. This quality has also made it easy for them to acquire that very important ingredient of real love—mutual trust.
But there are a few reservations. Question six, for instance. Although Natalie and Bob were acquainted, they haven’t really known each other well for a year. It might be wise for them to wait until then, to be sure about their love. Too, the question on career interest (No. 16) is still a question mark in their relationship. Try as they might, and determined as they may be to overcome this hazard, Bob can’t always trek across the country to see Natalie, as he did when she was working on “Marjorie Morningstar” in New York—and vice versa. And remember those staggering phone bills they piled up when he was in the Orient working on “Stopover Tokyo”? Love at long distance is a tough proposition!
Another point: On questions thirteen and nineteen, only Natalie and Bob know the answers—and they aren’t talking! Reason: Privacy. They don’t want every detail dragged through the glare of publicity.
As to whether they’re ready for marriage, here again the prospect looks good for Natalie and Bob. Both come from happy homes, are very close to their parents, who favor the marriage, though they would prefer that they wait a while to be sure. They’re both in good health, and share the same interests. Both have a wonderfully zany sense of humor and complement each other perfectly in that respect, and they have much the same cultural tastes. Collecting records is a common hobby. On the trip to New York, they strolled through the outdoor art show in Greenwich Village, and were delighted to discover that they liked exactly the same paintings!
Is Natalie the kind of person Bob always wanted to marry, and does she feel that way about Bob? Well, as far as the qualities both have looked for in the opposite sex— intelligence, honesty, lack of affectation, a sense of humor—the answer would appear to be yes. But—neither has been thinking in terms of marriage before. Nat has always said she’d wait until she was twenty-four, Bob’s said he wouldn’t marry till thirty!
If this sounds too perfect—it is. There are a few weak points in the picture. Natalie, for instance, has not reached the 96 age psychologists consider best for mating—she’s only nineteen. But that may be quibbling, since she’s very mature for her years. Bob didn’t finish two years’ college or two years’ work by age twenty. He wasn’t loafing—but he was floundering, until he found his forte in acting. Their backgrounds differ—Natalie’s folks have always been in the movie business, Bob’s very social parents are foreign to it. Natalie, a hard-working girl, is not like Bob’s mother; Bob, the handsome, dashing star, is not like her movie-technician father. In household matters, both have two left hands. Neither likes to cook. Natalie’s mother is always tidying her room; a cleaning woman does the job for Bob.
Don’t hold that last point against them, though, until you see how the experts feel. But in any case, with the means to hire help this should not develop into a real problem. The same applies to the question of money. Both Nat and Bob are inclined to be spendthrifts. They like nice things, particularly fine clothes. And both are as openhanded and generous as they come. This could put quite a strain on a family budget. But since both have older and wiser business heads holding their pursestrings, they would probably continue to do so if they married.
But there’s nothing there that couldn’t be overcome with much love—and that, they have, right now. Everything points to a happy marriage ahead.
And how did you score? Check the answers below and see!
ARE YOU REALLY IN LOVE?
1. Do you always enjoy being together?
2. Are there many things you like to do together?
3. Do you ever feel apologetic about the person before others?
4. Do your friends and business acquaintances admire him (her)?
5. Is separation, even for a short while, hard for you?
6. Have you known the person well for at least a year?
7. Do you try hard to please?
8. Does conversation come easily when you are together?
9. Does the person’s appearance appeal to you?
10. Do you like the way he or she talks, acts, and thinks?
11. Are you ever tempted to flirt with someone else?
12. Do you like each other’s friends?
13. Do you think about the relationship in terms of home and children?
14. Do you share the person’s ideals?
15. Are there things about the person that you don’t like?
16. Could career interests come between you?
17. Are there subjects on which you strongly disagree?
18. Do you trust the person completely?
19. Are you sure you want to marry this person?
ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?
1. Is he or she the kind of person you’ve always wanted to marry?
2.Is he like your father? Is she like your mother?
3. Were your parents happy?
4. Are you close to your parents?
5. Are you disturbed if the house isn’t tidy?
6. Do you stand on your own two feet all the time?
7. Are you in good physical health?
8. Are you twenty years old or older?
9. By age twenty, had you finished two years’ college or two years’ work?
10. Do you have a common hobby?
11. Do you come from the same type of home background?
12. Have you the same beliefs and attitudes about religion?
13. Are you interested in household matters?
14. Do you laugh at the same jokes?
15. Have you the same taste in movies and plays?
16. Do your parents favor marrying?
17 Do you like to talk over each other’s careers?
18. Is money an important problem to you?
19. Do you hope the person will change?
ARE YOU REALLY IN LOVE?
1. If you don’t want to be alone sometimes, you may be more dependent than in love. One point for each no.
2. On the other hand, if there aren’t many things you like to do together, your relationship won’t have much basis. One point for each yes.
3. If you’re feeling apologetic, you must be ashamed of him. Love should be built on pride. One point for each no.
4. If the people you are closest to, admire him, your relationship is less likely to be a fly-by-night affair. One point for each yes.
5. As in question 1, much suffering in separation probably means you can’t get along by yourself more than it means you’re in love. One point for each no.
6. If your feeling for your intended has been able to survive all the ups and downs that happen to people during the course of a year, you are more likely to be accepting him for himself rather than what you want him to be. One point for each yes.
7. You ought to be willing to make some sacrifices to make the person you love happy. One point for each yes.
8. If you find it hard to talk when you’re together, you may be feeling more awe than love. One point for each yes.
9. Beauty is only skin deep but love can’t live if you’re repulsed by your beloved’s appearance. One point for each yes.
10. A person’s behavior should be the basis for your feeling about him. If good looks is the only thing he’s got, you’re a goner when silver threads appear among the gold. One point for each yes.
11. You wouldn’t be human if you weren’t tempted sometimes. One point for each yes.
12. Your beloved’s friends are likely to be like him. If you don’t like them, maybe you aren’t really in love with him. One point for each yes.
13. As the saying goes “Marriage is a private affair.” It may not mean home and children to everyone, but heaven help you if you don’t agree. Two points for agreement of answers.
14. Most people are pretty touchy about their ideals, and the kind of ideals a person has are pretty good indicator of what he’s like. If you don’t like them, you may not really love him. One point for each yes.
15. A really honest person will admit that there are some things about their beloved that they don’t like. Your ability to face this squarely is good evidence that you are mature enough to be in love. One point for each yes.
16. Any marriage will find it difficult to survive conflict of career interests. One point for each no.
17. Strong disagreements are bound to come up, between any two people. Your ability to admit them shows integrity and a realistic attitude. One point for each yes.
18. This is vital. Love cannot survive suspicion. One point for each yes.
19. There are bound to be moments of doubt. Better to face and. examine them than deny them. One point for each no.
18-20, Excellent; 15-17, Good; 13-15, Fair; Under 13, wipe the stars out of your eyes!
ARE YOU READY FOR MARRIAGE?
1. If your mate is too different from the kind of person you’ve always wanted to marry, it’s probably fascination, not love. Three points for each yes.
2. If your mate is like your parent of the opposite sex and this is what you want, it probably means you have a healthy respect for both your own and your mate’s sex. Three points for each yes.
3. If your parents were happy, you prob- . ably had a happy childhood and you’ll tend to be a healthy person and therefore a good bet as a marriage partner. Three points for yes.
4. The same applies if you haven’t found it necessary to rebel against them. Three points for each yes.
5. If one is always cleaning up and the other always messing, nerves will get frayed. The important thing here is agreement. Give yourselves three points each if you’re both Messie Bessies or both Spotless Susans, but nothing if you disagree.
6. Two independent people don’t need each other, and two people who are unsure of themselves make a shaky marriage. Three points each for disagreement.
7. Deception is bad grounds for marriage. One point for each yes.
8. A sufficient degree of maturity is helpful toward bearing the strains of married life. One point for each yes.
9. Advancing your education or facing the rigors of the business world is good preparation for the reality of marriage. One point for each yes.
10. Shared interests bind a marriage tighter. One point for each yes.
11. Similarities in background also serve this function. One point for each yes.
12. The same applies here. One point for each yes.
13. A smooth-running household makes for a smooth marriage. One point for each yes.
14. A similar sense of humor is always a help. One point for each yes.
15. Similar tastes result in shared interests. One point for each yes.
16. In-law opposition is tough to fight. One point for each yes.
17. If you’re not interested in your mate’s career, you’re only marrying part of the person. One point for each yes.
18. Balance will be easier if one of you watches the money in the bank and the other likes to spend it. Three points each for disagreement.
19. Hoping your mate will change after you’re married is too much of a long-shot when you’re hoping for a permanent marriage. Three points for each no.
31-35, Excellent; 28-30, Good; 24-27, Fair; 23 or under, Better stay single or look for another mate!
It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE DECEMBER 1957