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Guess What Tuesday Talked Elvis Into

Just when I thought Tuesday Weld had settled down, she dreamed up the maddest thing in years—a hidden mike party—and talked Elvis into giving one with her. The guests never guessed their every word was being mysteriously wicked up. When the truth got out, everyone was furious—then immediately gave one, too. Nowadays no one knows if a party is bugged or not—or where to snoop to find the mike. Tuesday and El hid theirs and themselves in a comedy cut-out, but you can’t pull a stunt like that twice. So imaginations are running riot in Hollywood. Now mikes lurk in such unlikely places as kumquat dishes, hairdos and even chandeliers. 

Overheard By The Hidden Mike

Frankie Avalon was saying to Brenda Lee that his fans want to change the name of his movie, “The Alamo,” to “Remember the Avalon.” . . . Frank Sinatra denied reports that he was going to be the first Ambassador to the Moon. “We just got word,” he confided to Dean Martin, “that the moon is definitely made out of green cheese, and I’m afraid you and the rest of the Rat Pack would eat yourselves sick.” Dino excitedly replied, “Uh huh.” Then he turned to Perry and sang, “Arrivederci, Como.” Perry flipped back, “I used to be a barber, you know, that is, when I was a little shaver.”. . .

Fabian made quite a spectacle of himself by pouting throughout the entire party. “Everybody here,” he complained, “has got two names but me.” Barbara Luna, slinking by with Doug McClure, proudly announced Doug is to star in a new film, “The Yanks Are Coming,” which will be dedicated to the United States Dental Corps. Smile, Doug. . . . Dion whispered the news that Elvis Presleyhas decided to re-enlist for another hitch. When asked why, Elvis explained, “My daddy always told me, ‘Learn a trade, Son! Learn a trade.’ Anyway, Colonel Parker made it. Maybe I could, too.”. . .

George Maharis and Marty Milner arrived very late. They explained that the only road they knew was Route 64, but it didn’t happen to pass the house. . . . Sir Laurence Olivier announced to his date, Connie Francis,that he’d just spent a year studying voice and diction under the expert tutelage of Steve McQueen. Sir Laurence demonstrated: “Ooookeeey, lits goooo.”

The next thing we heard tickled us silly. It’s the new name game sweeping Hollywood—not that the Sanitation Dept. isn’t doing a good job. Here’s how the game goes. Try it. Figure out what a lady’s name would sound like if she married a certain fellow. Here are a few we caught off the tape. If June Allyson married Richard Boone, her name would be June Boone. If Rhonda Fleming got with Henry Fonda, she’d be Rhonda Fonda. Or Doris Day with Chester Morris would become Doris Morris. What about Dodie Stevens and Steve Brodie? Dodie Brodie? Our favorite was Audrey Hepburn with Gene Autry. Can you see the wedding announcement? Mrs. Audrey Autry! Silly Billy.

Janet Leigh was bragging about Tony’s new-found politeness. Said she, “It isn’t really politeness. I’d call it Curtis-y.” “Nonsense,” bounced Tony, “my real name is Bernie Schwartz.” . . . Gary Cooper came to the party right off the jet from New York. He brought along his pilot, who was thrilled at the whole idea. “It sure was swell having Gary on my plane,” the pilot said. “It’s the first time I ever flew the Coop.” . . . Milton Berle broke up the party by leaving in a huff, which he drives himself, by the way. He complained, “I’ve been asked to perform. What an insult! I don’t perform—I Bowl!”

At about this time, the tape seemed to stick on the repeated words, “Ap rilf ool. Ap rilf ool.” Put ’em all together, they don’t spell a real p-a-r-t-y at all. “April Fool!”


It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE MAY 1961

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