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That’s Hollywood For You
I wonder if Tuesday Weld thinks Beverly Aadland is a wild kid. . . . “Suddenly, Last Summer” is the only movie I know that qualifies to be on the Diners Club. If you don’t understand this joke, see the movie. . . . I’ll say there’s nothing small about Tina Louise except her first name. . . . Intense is the word for Tony Perkins. . . . I know of no actress I’d rather watch on the screen than Simone Signoret; I know of no actress I’d rather listen to in the living room than Simone Signoret. . . . If the Academy doesn’t award Signoret the Oscar, they didn’t give it for the Best Performance by an actress. . . . Who ever believed that Mamie Van Doren would wind up better than Charlie?
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Gloria Grahame has returned to the Hollywood scene. She is as sexy as ever, although she manages to speak as if her upper lip is novocained. . . . I thought Cyd Charisse on TV was foolish to be glamorous one minute and the next minute have husband Tony Martin ask if she sent his shirts to the laundry. . . . I’d say that Cary Grant has come closer than Ponce de Leon to discovering the Fountain of Youth. . . . Shirley MacLaine is becoming less pixie and more organized. . . . Sometimes Tommy Sands gives the impression that Elvis is listening to him sing. . . . Starlet Roberta Tennes tells me you can never tell what a fellow has in mind when he asks for a date in this town He may be thinking of romance, or he may just want to get his name in the papers.
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Eddie likes Liz plump. . . . Zsa Zsa Gabor has the faculty of making a stranger feel he’s an intimate friend, which may be why she has so many. . . I wonder if Grace Kelly acts like a princess, now that she actually is one. . . . Robert Mitchum is said to sleep with his eyes wide-open. Since actors became producers, there are more movie heroes. . . . I caught Marilyn Monroe actually reading an Arthur Miller play. . . . All rock ’n’ roll music sounds to me as if it were written by the same man. . . . Barbara Nichols, after attending the wedding of an actress-friend: “I hope she doesn’t spill anything on her wedding gown. She’s only worn it once.”
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I insist Jayne Mansfield is the girl-next-door to someone. . . . Marriage hasn’t fattened up Vera-Ellen. . . . What’s the difference between a Frank Sinatra TV special with guests Bing Crosby and Dean Martin and a Dean Martin TV special with guests Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby? Answer: The commercials. . . . I don’t understand people who pan Marlon Brando for spending so much time and money on “One-Eyed Jacks.” These people should be interested only in, “Is it a good movie?” . . . Steve McQueen insists he doesn’t talk mumbly; people listen mumbly. . . . Nothing makes an actress feel more like an actress than a fur coat. As new evidence for this remark, I cite Carolyn Jones, who has six fur coats, and Joan Collins, who practically sleeps in hers.
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Wouldn’t you like to see Peter Gunn hiring Richard Diamond or Perry Mason to solve a personal problem? . . . Julie London is as honest as she is shy. . . . Nick Adams works hard at being sincere. . . . Sinatra believes one is hip or one is square, and that’s all there is to it. . . . By the way, putting things IN and OUT is now considered OUT. . . . I wonder what Norma Shearer honestly thinks of today’s movie stars. . . . And I wonder if today’s movie stars (Carol Lynley, France Nuyen, Pat Wayne, etc.) ever heard of Norma Shearer. Rhonda Fleming always seems on the point of hitting it big. . . . Sophia Loren wears a man’s wristwatch.
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I’ve visited Shelley Winters on sets and, personally, I’ve never found her to be temperamental. Although I’ve watched her being temperamental. . . . Barrie Chase can’t watch a dancer without moving her toes. . . . On the credit side of the Hollywood ledger you’ve got to list that it always improves Jack Paar’s shows. . . . I wish The Clan would officially elect officers and collect dues. . . . I believe Sal Mineo designs his own suits. Who else? . . . Lenny Bruce says that after they cleaned up “The Gene Krupa Story.” Sal Mineo found out he was portraying Lawrence Welk.
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I believe Tab Hunter would have been tabbed a better actor if he hadn’t been named Tab. . . . Jerry Lewis had a bad dream the other night. He dreamed Dean Martin left him, went on his own, and was a bigger hit. . . . Then Jerry woke up out of a cold sweat to realize it was true. . . . Kim Novak is now more pre-occupied with her acting than her looks, which hinders her acting. . . Hollywood is a place where a school-teacher made David Ladd, because he didn’t do his homework, write on the blackboard a hundred times—“I don’t deserve to be a star.” That’s Hollywood For You
It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE APRIL 1960