That’s Hollywood For You

I’m betting Marilyn Monroe will be even more popular as Mrs. DiMaggio. Males will like her as always, and now more fe- males will because she’s safely hitched. Tony Curtis has a chance to be a movie star with the old-time glamour. Can’t understand why the soon-to-be-married Mitzi Gaynor and Jack Bean are looking tor a two-bedroom apartment. I’ve often wondered about the off-screen appeal of Hildegarde Neff. A smart producer should team Robert Wagner and Debbie Reynolds. They look as if they belong together, even though they’re not romantic any longer. Rosemary Clooney is a favorite singer with me because she embraces words. One thing you can’t say about Zsa Zsa Gabor is that she’s bashful . . . I never realized it, but Zsa Zsa’s trade-mark is her earrings. She says so, adding: “I never take them off—swimming, sleeping, anything!” Jeff Chandler’s grey hair makes him appear youthful. Sign in the wardrobe department at Warners’: “Wearing Falsies Improves Nothing.” When Marie Wilson’s husband told her the bank had just called, and he said, “Dear, you’re overdrawn,” Marie replied, “Oh darling, you mean you’re underdeposited.”

Ethel Merman munches on raw hamburger meat the way you do on candy. I can’t think of a film dealing with the Civil War that has been unfavorable to the South. Piper Laurie no longer buys sweaters a size too large for her. I admit that Audrey Hepburn is sweet, charming, talent and everything else mentioned, but I’d rather watch Katharine. Sue me! If called upon to name the most outspoken actor in Hollywood, I guess I’d say Robert Mitchum. Tom Jenk claims the honeymoon is over when a couple won’t go to a drive-in theatre because they’ve seen the movie.

I believe Clark Gable will miss M-G-M and I know I’ll miss seeing him there. Even the other stars of the studio acted like tourists, turning to look when the King used to enter the commissary. It doesn’t matter whether Lana Turner’s blonde, brunette or redhead, I recognize her instantly. Attention please: Kinsey is no longer popular, but sex is. Off-screen Humphrey Bogart is a villain who goes about deliberately starting arguments. The mink coat is Hollywood’s badge of importance. But let me whisper to you that most of the mink worn by starlets to premieres is loaned to them by the studio and must be returned the next day. I think Janet Leigh is for real. Kathryn Grayson admits: “I have quite a problem with men. I don’t have dates with them—I marry them.” Katie is trying to solve her problem. Most night-club scenes in movies are boring. But so are most night clubs, unless the entertainer is Joe E. Lewis. No matter where or how I see Marlene Dietrich, she always looks glamorous to me. I’m still waiting for a good non-fiction book about Hollywood. I used to think Jean Simmons looked like Elizabeth Taylor, but recently I’ve been thinking Liz Taylor looks like Jean Simmons. Put another coin in the juke box, and make one of the records of Frank Sinatra sing “Three Coins in the Fountain.”

Anne Francis denies she wears the pants in her family. Yet, it’s a fact that she and husband Bam Price wear the same size jeans. I’m anxious to see Judy Garland in “A Star Is Born” because I love Judy, and the movie as done by Janet Gaynor and Fredric March is on my all-time favorite list. Terry Moore doesn’t appear to be relaxed even when she’s resting. While Ava Gardner was being fitted for her costumes in “Knights of the Round Table,” her dog barked. “Don’t pay any attention to him,” Ava told the wardrobe lady. “It’s just that he isn’t used to seeing me in so many clothes.”

I didn’t think Rita Hayworth and Gene Tierney had the same taste. The Aly Khan bit throws me. Alan Ladd files and indexes every fan letter he receives. After seeing “Forever Female,” I say Pat Crowley is the most promising of the new batch of females. For the next batch coming in, watch Sheree North. When Susan Hayward was asked if her eyelashes are real, she replied: “Everything I have is mine.” Guy Madison looks as if he enjoys a Western. Walking toward his studio dressing-room, Donald O’Connor saw a mule attached to a wagon and became alarmed it might be Francis. “You know how it is,” said Donald. “One minute you hitch your wagon to a star, and the next minute you’re hitched to a wagon.” That’s Hollywood for you.

It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE MAY 1954