That’s Hollywood For You

I’m weary of imitations of Dean Martin with the impersonator holding a glass of liquor. . . . No matter what they—and I might say about him, I do have a fondness for Fabian. . . . Rod Steiger once said this about acting: “I turn pretending into reality.” . . . Peter Lorre calls acting “making faces for money.” . . . I have liked Lana Turner ever since she had only one sweater to her name, and our friendship has endured all her years of success and strife. . . . I can’t wait for Simone Signoret’s next picture. but I must No matter what you’ve heard. Yves Montand has that yearning sound in his voice when he speaks about Simone. . . . Yet you could have knocked me over with the gentle push of an Oscar when I heard the Don Murray-Hope Lange marriage was on the celluloid rocks. . . . Whatever became of Deanna Durbin? She’s married to retired producer Charles David, lives in France, and hasn’t any desire to return to the movies. . . . At a recent party, Debra Paget uttered, “Take away Brigitte Bardot’s towel and what has she got?”

Jayne Mansfield has an unbuttoned look. . . I’m weary of the opening, shot of “Gunsmoke.” It’s been burlesqued so often that now even Jim (Matt Dillon) Arness looks as if he’s doing a burlesque of it. . . . Laurence Harvey is one of the screens finest actors. Some night even Oscar will realize it. . . . I haven’t more respect for an actress who won a Phi Beta Kappa key than I have for an actress who hasn’t a high school diploma. . . . My thanks to the Hollywood Women’s Press Club for voting me their “Golden Apple” award as “Man of the Year.” It was my thirtieth covering Hollywood. And if anyone was going to top me, I’m glad it was Bob Hope, named “Man of All Time.”

I’ll wager Tuesday Weld would have been as popular if her name had been Wednesday Weld. . . . Want to know what happened to Elvis Presley’s sideburns? They went to the top of his head. where he’s got more hair than ever before. . . I believe TV has done more for Garbo than any other movie star. It has kept her popular and a legend to many youngsters who had only their parents’ word for it. . . . I’m weary of those TV series in which the hero (Craig Stevens and John Vivyan, to mention two I endeavors to give the impression he’s a small-size screen Cary Grant. I know a lady (a relative ) who viewed a Cary Grant movie and claimed that he was trying to be Craig Stevens. . . . Cara Williams gives the impression that she’s holding hack a scream. . . . Whatever became of Evelyn Venable? She’s married to star cameraman Hal Mohr, and after being graduated from UCLA (June ’56 ) she occasionally teaches Latin and Greek there. . . . I get no message from Dorothy Ma-lone. but with Angie Dickinson I’m tuned in. . . . James Mason usually wears a scowl, appearing as if he’s angry. Yet James is a pleasant chap. . . . I don’t know how I’m going to keep up with all the new faces. Most of them have the same new face. . . . Alec Guinness claims that England and the United States are two countries separated by the same language.

Nick Adams looks like the kind of guy who likes to wear a funny hat on New Year’s Eve. . .. I’m weary of those movies which advertise “Funniest picture in 10 years.” I’m always tempted to ask the producer the name of that picture that was so funny 10 years ago. . . . I’d like to have a dollar for every model who came here to be a movie star. And I’m merely referring to those I’ve met. . . . Peggy Lee is one of the few singers who doesn’t have to act at being sexy. . . . Zsa Zsa hates to be alone—and she never is.

I wonder why Mickey Rooney gives excellent performances on TV and is so mediocre in the movies. Mickey hasn’t done an excellent movie job in years. . . Edd (Kookie) Byrnes now combs his hair too much off-screen as well as on. . . . Whatever became of Jess Barker? He couldn’t get a job in Hollywood so he moved to Chicago where he’s the chief man in an employment agency. . . . I have a suspicion that despite all his success, Charlie Weaver would like to be sophisticated. . . . I’m so weary of Sammy Davis Jr. doing Nat King Cole and Louis Armstrong that I’m also getting weary of Nat King Cole and Louis Armstrong. . . . I like Byron, Keats and Shelley Winters. Sue me. . . . I believe that Frank Sinatra believes the stage is a playground and he’s out there with the boys for a good time. . . . Our old friend Mike Curtiz, talking about movie audiences, said, “If the people don’t want to come, nothing will stop them.” That’s Hollywood For You.

It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE AUGUST 1960