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That’s Hollywood For You

I can’t imagine Jayne Mansfield shy. . . . Did you ever notice that actresses who play movie stars in pictures . . . Frank Sinatra was never greater than at his recent engagement at the Mocambo. . . . Frankie was the master; singing all his great songs, and even kidding himself several times during the evening. The show was great.

Martha Hyer is a very different type blonde, who finally appears to be coming into her own and stardom. . . . As for me, I’d rather watch Tony Perkins perform at a party than on the screen. Very interesting. . . . Elvis Presley is a singer who doesn’t have to learn new lyrics with every new song. because Elvis isn’t selling the words. . . . Asked Eddie Fisher for a definition of Hollywood, and he told me: “Hollywood is a place where a person is doubtful what to do, especially after he has done it.”

Jerry Lewis, if he weren’t a successful comic, is the type of fellow who might own a magic shop—selling cigars that explode, etc. . . . I don’t believe I’ll ever see a movie junket without Ann Miller. . . . Everyone has two businesses, their own and show business. A sponsor can tell Doris Day how to act and rewrite a script, but would you hear a holler if Doris told him how to manufacture lipstick. . . . Asked Tony Curtis for a definition of Hollywood, and he told me: “Hollywood is a place where a fellow never has to struggle about making a living until he makes $1000 or more a week.”

Natalie Wood will outgrow her leather jacket. A movie studio after dark, calm and practically deserted, is one of the most fascinating places I know. . . . And man! What those cleaning women must know!! . . . Tennessee Williams’ real name is Thomas Lanier Williams. . . . Even after it’s explained to me carefully, I don’t understand how Arthur Loew, Jr. can romance Joan Collins one night and Susan Strasberg the next. A fellow can’t be that versatile. . . . I wonder what Ingrid Bergman has done with her Oscars. . . . How about a musical version of “The Front Page” with Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra, Mr. Cohn? . . . Stewart Granger is the cook in the family. Paul Newman is a good cook, and so are Lex Barker and Jeff Hunter to mention a few. . . . I’m always astonished when an actor is a good cook, although I know that in the leading restaurants and hotels the chef is a male. . . . In fact, I don’t know of a female chef in a prominent restaurant. Do you, Duncan Hines? . . . Asked Debbie Reynolds for a definition of Hollywood, and she told me: “Hollywood is a place where the stars twinkle after they wrinkle.”

Wonder what Bing Crosby is honestly thinking while watching Perry Como on TV. . . . I like Bob Hope’s remark: “Crosby dressed for calypso years be- fore it became popular.” . . . Always the best show in town: Celebrities being interviewed at a movie premiére. You get such things as an interviewer truly believing Jeanne Crain is Zsa Zsa Gabor. . . . Asked Kim Novak for a definition of Hollywood, and she told me: “Hollywood is a place where if you can afford what you’ve got, you’re entitled to something better.”

I never expect to see John Wayne attending classes at the Actors Studio and becoming an advocate of The Method. Know what? It would ruin him. . . . Whenever I hear a starlet rap Joan Crawford, I know the starlet would love to be another Joan Crawford. . . . The sign in the window of a Beverly Hills shop read: “Sale—Slightly Irregular Sweaters.” And Deborah Kerr wondered if the gals buying them were slightly irregular. . . . Asked Jeff Chandler for a definition of Hollywood, and he told me: “Hollywood is a place where nothing is more needed and more valuable than a spare reputation.”

That’s Hollywood For You!



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