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“The Hardest Thing In Life Is To Make Love Well”

ROD TAYLOR: Do I think the most important thing in life is to make love well? I’ll answer that question with this little story:

They tell of a man who once told his wife that he would never leave her because she made love more beautifully than any other woman. She became infuriated and hit him.

“Why did you hit me?” asked her near-unconscious husband.

“For knowing the difference, that’s why,” replied his wife.






CONNIE STEVENS: I think the most difficult thing in life is to love completely. And I don’t believe it has to do either with skill or age.

When I was a small girl of eight I loved a boy so devotedly, I used to cry just thinking of how much I loved him. He was every wonderful thing a girl could imagine about love and happiness. I adored him. I would have done anything he asked me to do. But he didn’t know I was alive. I wanted nothing in return turn for my love. Yet I never got near enough to touch his hand.

As you grow older it is almost impossible to be that generous. Women like to believe that they love completely, but I suspect that it would be unbearable to love that much and not be loved back.






FRANK SINATRA: I once knew a woman who thought her husband was the greatest man that ever lived. Everyone else in the world thought he was a bum. Who decides whether love-making is easy or difficult? Making love exists only in the heart of the love-maker.






ANN-MARGRET: I guess there are men and women who believe that the most difficult thing in life is to make love well. But in my opinion there is something much more difficult. And that is to make love last. I’m not discounting the happiness of being with the one you love, to know for certain that he loves you. And I don’t mean to suggest that the excitement of being in love is not important because these are the emotional treasures that a woman stores in her heart. As a matter of fact, it is these very memories that help sustain her love, perhaps, when it is threatened.



But I think every woman is suspicious of the man who makes love well. (And I imagine a man is equally suspicious of such a woman.) If a man’s experience is obvious it is often also an obvious symptom of infidelity. The average woman cannot afford the emotional luxury of affairs the way a man can.

A woman’s passions are precious to her. They are the jewels of her soul and once she has given them they are gone forever. But she doesn’t mind giving them if in exchange she knows she will be loved and cared for by the man of her choice.

It is not how much love there is in a man’s past that counts. It is how much love there is in his heart that matters to a woman.






DICK CHAMBERLAIN: The more women I meet the more I suspect that love, the kind of love every woman wants, has little to do with physical compatibility. I know so many happily married couples, and the thought of their happiness depending on each other’s ability to make love well seems incongruous. In fifty years of married life the importance of, as you call it, making love well, would seem to be of little consequence. Yet in another sense, I have seen a man and a woman make love beautifully—in public! All you had to see them do was look at each other. I think the importance of making love well is important only to men or women who demand satisfaction from love. I feel that no one can demand from love, nor should it demand from you. . . . If I must be rewarded for loving or if I must reward love, then I guess it’s not really love.






TUESDAY WELD: I think this is a man’s point of view that is frequently impressed on women. A woman rarely comes to maturity with the idea that the most difficult, hence the most important, thing in life is to make love well. We love with our hearts and our souls and all the fervor that is in them. I don’t see how you can measure or grade something like that. I suppose you could say that physical compatibility lends a deep sense of satisfaction, but that seems to me the most impermanent of all the true pleasures of loving. To love and to know, really know, that you are loved in return is to me the greatest and rarest thing that can happen to a woman.






VINCE EDWARDS: Someone says that making love well is the most difficult thing in life? That’s a little like saying that the only way to be completely religious is to know how to pray well. A man cares only for how much his woman loves from the heart. No woman can give him more than that. No man should expect it.






CAROL LYNLEY: No one makes love, not real love. It happens between a man and a woman and in a sense there is very little one can do about it. But I do think that a woman loves more generously than a man. I mean, a girl is less apt to be selfish in her love. I guess this is the real sacrifice a woman makes when she falls I in love, when she subordinates all her hopes and dreams to the wishes and wants , of the man she loves. And most women will do it. I think unselfish love reflects a quality rather than an ability. If you are in love with all your heart and you are willing to give up everything for that love, what else can you give? To me it is not how well you love that is most difficult, but how much you are willing to sacrifice for it.



TROY DONAHUE: I think maybe it is the most difficult thing in life, making love well. But in all truth, a man has more of an opportunity to become proficient at it than a woman. Personally I think it’s a delicate and difficult subject to discuss. And how can a virtuous man or woman know what they’re talking about? A woman would almost have had to be promiscuous to know whether she qualifies as a competent love-maker. If two people are in love, they’re in love. Why should they bother themselves with qualifications? We ought to turn an old phrase into a new one—“Love and let love.”



CAROL BURNETT: Loving is forgiving. Why fight it?

SUZANNE PLESHETTE: To me, making love well implies experience and experience implies promiscuity. No woman, no matter how clever she is, can, for long, conceal experience from the man she loves. No man would welcome that discovery, and I wouldn’t blame him.

JANE FONDA: The physical relationship between a man and a woman in love is. I think, far too personal to try to examine as an ability. What woman who is really in love with a man cares whether he makes love well compared to other men? Physical love-making has its limits. Loving from the heart is infinite. I don’t think men or women should love better, they should love more.



KIRK DOUGLAS: I think it is more for a man to decide on whether the most difficult thing in life is to make love well. To me it is unromantic to attach skill to love-making. Love comes from the heart and the heart has no skill, only feeling. Do you mean that in order to make love well you must be skillfully passionate? Do you suggest that love is a calculated kiss? I don’t think so. I’ve known a hundred busy bachelors in my life, all of them you might call clever lovers. But every one of them who finally settled down, married a woman incredibly unlike the kind of woman he had dated as a single man. I don’t know why and I don’t think any one of them gave it a thought. They fell in love, for real, and skill didn’t have a thing to do with it.

BY DON DOUGLAS

 

It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 1963



1 Comment
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    1 Ağustos 2023

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