What’s The Difference!—Tony Curtis & Janet Leigh

They do not have towels marked His and Hers.

She never eats between meals, but he is constantly nibbling on something. “I like it better than regular meals.”

He smokes less than a package of cigarettes a day, but she averages two packs.

They always agree on politics.

He is inclined to be quick-tempered and she assiduously scrubs her teeth after every meal. “That’s why I have no cavities.”

He was born Bernard Schwartz.

She was baptized Jeanette Helen Morrison.

He drinks only one cup of coffee a day, but she puts away seven. She likes her coffee black and hot. He is forever riding hunches and has a passion for shirts. She loves to walk in the rain and has a passion for skirts—“all colors and styles.”

He favors Italian restaurants and has a fierce hatred for people who push others around. He was born June 3, 1925.

She wears a girdle only in dancing scenes for support and clings sentimentally to a rag doll that Tony gave her five years ago. She was born at Merced, California, on July 6.

She dislikes watching a boxing match; he is an excellent boxer and is an avid boxing fan.

They are both right-handed.

He abhors the smell of a stable, thinks himself a poor business man and hates to get up early in the morning.

She prefers a nightgown to sleeping pajamas, considers herself pretty good in business matters and she doesn’t mind rising early.

They both like garlic, onions and anchovies.

He was born in a New York tenement and she was born in a hospital.

She values most his “honesty and warmth” and wishes he would stop wiping his comb on the towel.

He has no superstitions, is bored by tennis, golf and football and declares that “she wants me to eat too much.” His eyes are blue.

She never tries to talk herself out of a traffic ticket; neither does he: “I’m too scared.” Her eyes are hazel.

They don’t like hillbilly music.

They both have a weakness for shoes, she has sixty pairs and he has twenty. Their mutual best friends are Marge and Gower Champion, Gene Nelson Rosemary Clooney and Jose Ferrer. She is five feet five and one-half inches tall and thinks her most vivid memory is her first sight of Paris.

He confesses that he is not tidy or orderly, declares that his worst fault is “not making up my mind” and is , proud of the sandwiches he makes.

They like to go barefooted.

She calls him Ton-a-la, which means “little Tony” in Hungarian. He calls her Janie, and when they have children they would like “more than one.”

Tony is always postponing answering letters, insists on paying bills promptly and gets seasick at the first lurch of a boat. His hair is black and polo bores him.

Janet dislikes cooking, has no interest in winter sports and gets seasick only when on the lower deck but not in the open air. Her hair is dark blond and she answers letters promptly.

He doesn’t like popcorn.

She has never been to a horse race.

He loves to play poker and she doesn’t like gambling in any form. They cannot endure wrestling matches, oysters or clams and both are rabid movie fans, seeing all they can.

He finds machinery completely baffling, loves baseball and track meets and believes environment infinitely more important than heredity. They love to play Scrabble, badminton and guggenheimer.

She owns twenty-five pairs of earrings. “Never gaudy or jazzy.” Tony has an aversion to flashy jewelry.

They have a French miniature poodle whom they call “Houdina” and two little goldfish brought home one day by Tony on what they call “Love Day.”

She has “no affinity for cats.”

He wears no rings, dislikes opera and confesses he is “terrible in English and spelling.” He yearns someday to visit Italy and has read Fancies and Goodnights by John Collier several times.

Tony doesn’t mind long telephone conversations “so long as I don’t have to. pay for them,” and Janet doesn’t like them “except when Tony’s on the wire.” She likes to watch football and basketball games.

Neither one is affected by claustrophobia and he admires Janet because “she’s a nice girl.” She never has a dietary problem because “usually I can stand two or three pounds more.”

She dislikes potatoes and beans in any form, but he is very fond of them. She saves nothing she “doesn’t need.”

He never wears an undershirt. “It itches.”

He hates “all chores around the house except washing the cars.” She likes all household chores. “I truly enjoy keeping house.” She weighs 110 pounds and he weighs 155.

She was excellent in all subjects at school and at one time had planned to become a mathematics teacher. He always got very low marks in French and mathematics.

He owns six hats, all pork pies, and when dressing to step out in the evening, Janet is always the last to be ready. She doesn’t like Roquefort cheese except in salad dressings. He goes for all kinds of cheeses except Liederkranz and Limburger.

She has been to Las Vegas several times, but has never played the slot machines. She likes to go there for the shows, the swimming and the weather and “I like to watch people.”

His extravagances are impulsive. “Anything I dig at the moment.”

He seldom drinks hard liquor.

They both think Italian haircuts attractive “on some girls,” and both set aside evenings just for reading, “taking time out to catch up on books.”

She prefers city life to country, and in any kind of disagreement between them, she feels “that both of us are entitled to our own thoughts. If there is an impasse and we can’t mutually agree, then I should give in.”

He has an aversion to short “droopy” socks.

She never plays solitaire.

He has few illusions, collects records as a hobby and his favorite stories are Jack and the Beanstalk and David and Goliath: “stories of little guys up against big guys.” Neither one can remember the license number of their car.

They were married on June 4, 1951, in Greenwich, Connecticut. Her latest picture is “My Sister Eileen,” and she has a great desire to someday see India, Malay and Burma.

He hates hand-painted neckties.

She likes crossword puzzles.

She cares little for concerts, is bothered by heights and gets very impatient in heavy traffic—“at people who don’t seem to know where they are going.” He once wanted to be a doctor.

He never wears glasses and hates to shave: “I’m always afraid of cutting my throat.”

She wears glasses for reading and she cries at sad movies. Tony says, “They don’t even have to be sad. She’s the only one I know that can cry at a Disney cartoon.”

He does not particularly care for pets: “I don’t think I dig any animal.” He seldom finishes anything he undertakes, but Janet makes a very hard effort to finish anything she starts.

She never loses gloves.

She has difficulty remembering names, has no faith in fortune tellers or astrologers and wears a charm bracelet that contains a Star of David and a variety of saints. Tony owns a bunch of lighters, but never carries one.

He dislikes flowers worn on the person and gave up smoking a pipe because “it was too much trouble.” She is overly fond of peaches.

She never eats avocados, Brussels sprouts or cocoanut. He likes to play gin rummy and he refuses to improve his horsemanship in order to discourage the studio from putting him in Westerns.

She drinks milk “only because it’s good for me” and usually wears a housecoat around the house. Tony is addicted to wrap-arounds or East Indian pants for home comfort.

Janet has a natural knack for tennis and hopes to be a good player someday. She is very orderly, wishes she knew how to paint and prefers Scotch and water on the rare occasions when she takes a drink.

Tony reads a lot of science-fiction magazines in. which she has no interest. Neither cares much for television. “We just don’t like to ‘waste time. Unless there’s something special that we want to see, we leave it.”

She wishes she could speak French well.

They haven’t got a swimming pool, but will have one in the new house. She is an extreme perfectionist and never seems to meet the standards she sets for herself, and if she has had “a marvelous day” she tries awfully hard to duplicate it the following day.

He is not an easy touch “because I don’t carry any money.”

Tony believes that the greatest asset in a wife “is that security that prevents her from being influenced or affected by what the Joneses have.” She has a weakness for candy and desserts at night. She has great patience and tolerance, but on occasion can break out with a flash of genuine temper.

She lacks any talent or feeling for any kind of needlework. She is inordinately fond of grilled hot dogs full of what she calls “goop,” which is all manner of stuffing. She wears toreador pants of black denim, especially tailored for her.

He quickly forgets anything in which he is not interested. He has to labor to memorize dialogue, calls his parents by their first names and recalls New York’s Central Park with deep nostalgia: “It meant so much to me in my boyhood.”

She drinks nothing that is carbonated. “Once in a great while, maybe a little champagne.”

He likes his shirts when “they have been cleaned so often that they’re limp and fit well.”

Janet Leigh and Tony Curtis seldom go to night clubs, never feel dependent on outside diversions to keep them from lapsing into boredom and, although they enjoy having people around, they make it a point to spend certain evenings alone.

THE END

—JOSEPH HENRY STEELE

 

It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE MARCH 1955