That’s Hollywood For You

I know a guy whose favorite actress is Piper Laurie. But he wonders if she and all the other girls around Hollywood—including Debbie Reynolds—are as innocent as they seem to be . . . Yvonne DeCarlo believes most good-looking men aren’t smart . . . It was not too long ago that Susan Hayward told me she could forgive a man practically anything because she likes men. I don’t have to brief you on what happened recently . . . I believe Ethel Merman when she sings “There’s No Business Like Show Business” . . . Scott Brady looks like a bop musician to me.

Hollywood is on a lady kick. The movie colony is very pleased to classify Audrey Hepburn and Grace Kelly as young actresses who represent Lady . . . The old Burton Holmes travelogues now have a story and are interwoven in CinemaScope movies . . . I can recall not long ago when I wrote that an unknown, Cyd Charisse, would be a bigger movie star than her husband, Tony Martin. I think she proves it in “Brigadoon.”

There is no prettier face on the screen than Ava Gardner’s. And those who want to shout Liz Taylor can shout! . . . My favorite character Mike Curtiz told formfitting dancer Barrie Chase

(“White Christmas”) : “In two years I’ll make you a star overnight.” Lauren Bacall sounds more like Marlene Dietrich every day . . . I flip when Lena Horne sings practically any song . . . I wish Frank Sinatra would record “My Time of Day” from “Guys and Dolls” . . . Marge Champion always looks well groomed Sheree North figures to be a star . . . Bob Wagner told me that he was looking at a picture on TV that was so bad he walked out of his own house and went to the movies.

Even stage money is more expensive these days. A few years ago you could buy a million dollars for twenty dollars; now the million costs almost fifty dollars. I’m still waiting for a good explanation of Liberace. Don’t hit, just try to explain . . . Gilbert Roland is the most amazing actor in pictures to me. I’ll explain: Roland was around when Norma Talmadge was a silent film star, and he’s around—better and more handsome—as Jane Russell’s leading man . . . Janet Leigh has muscles where a girl should have muscles . . . Charlotte Austin looks like Olivia de Havilland did when Olivia started in pictures . . . Just for a change, I’d like to see Claire Trevor notplay a fallen woman. She’s too good an actress to put in a groove.

I goofed with Leslie Caron. To me, nothing. But now I realize what others see in her . . . Lana Turner with a little weight on is still much sexier and interesting than a carload of the new starlets . . . While I’m in the mood, let me say that all those “bosom and sand” pictures sound and look alike to me . . . Continuing the confession, I can’t distinguish between Mary Castle and Peggie Castle, and don’t know which is doing what career-wise or otherwise.

I know a guy who thinks Marilyn Monroe is trying to be another Mamie Van Doren . . . By the way, I can’t think of a more exciting combo than The Monroe and Marlon Brando for a movie . . . I don’t dig Guy Madison as Lindbergh . . . Bob Mitchum likes San Francisco and told me about a hep pal who, while they were strolling through Union Square, said: “Man, whatta town. Even the squares here have a union” actresses act as if they were another Audrey Hepburn . . . I’d love to listen to a tape recording of a night’s dialogue between Zsa Zsa Gabor and Rubirosa . . . No longer am I too surprised or shocked by anything an actor might do or say. I excuse it by remembering that it was an actor who shot Lincoln. And that’s Hollywood for you.

—BY SIDNEY SKOLSKY

 

It is a quote. PHOTOPLAY MAGAZINE SEPTEMBER 1954